Definitely Legitimate Crypto Privacy Statement

At Intentless™, we value your privacy almost as much as we value our imaginary internet money. We are committed to protecting your personal information with the same level of security that protected the life savings of FTX customers.

We collect all sorts of data, including but not limited to your hopes, dreams, and the contents of your digital wallet. This information is securely stored in a state-of-the-art virtual vault, guarded 24/7 by the ghosts of FTX, Celsius, and Voyager Digital. For added protection, we’ve contracted former employees of Mt. Gox and BlockFi to oversee our security protocols. What could possibly go wrong?

Your data will e used to create highly speculative financial products, generate meaningless charts, and fuel our executives’ yacht purchases. We may also use your information to send you exciting investment opportunities, like our new “Definitely Not a Ponzi Scheme” token.

We don’t share your data with third parties. We lose it all by ourselves, thank you very much.

You have the right to request access to your personal data, but much like your crypto investments, it may have mysteriously disappeared.